Can Karma Be Confused, If He Really Loves Me

 CAN KARMA BE CONFUSED?

Can karma be confused?

Coud it misinterpreted what I meant when I sid those words to you?

Does a child’s rant count as a prayer when all he wanted was to play around?

Could I be going through this for no reason as a mannequin of what not to be done?

Why is my life taking such a huge turn before even letting me see what lies ahead of me?

What must I do to stop the formation of this massive u-turn?

Must I cut my veins to let the infected blood stop flowing in my body?

Or shall I swallow more pill-ed remedies to eventually make my heart stop?

Or are all those failed attempts in the past just a sign that I shouldn't try it anymore?

Or maybe this'll be the time that it would finally work?

IF HE REALLY LOVES ME

Promises, they say I had made to God, agreeing to have this life...

But I don't remember it one bit.

So, should I still be accountable for something that I have not the proof of?

Were the papers burnt? Where is the copy?

If I did sign a contract with God, then why isn't He God-like?

Isn't he supposed to love me as opposed to punishing me?

They say that He gives us tests to show how much He loves us.

But what comes after?

If He really loves me...

Then, I beg for all these to be cut short and for him to just take me back.

For I am too scared to go through it alone...

And I much rather be in my mother's arms again and hear her never-ending scoldings than to be in pain towards the end of my life.

Love, Qadeem