If I Shall Not Breathe Again

 

If I should be sacrificed to this illness,

As there is not enough dough to send the tray into the oven...

Let me leave in peace.

I have lived my life in as many phases as I had ever imagined;

Sorrows, happiness, love, and hatred.

If I were to go in this bed, just fix me a smile as I face my loved ones in a deep sleep to never wake up.

If my hair were to fall out and be stranded on the pillows, pick them up and frame it a memory.

If my heart were to stop, place your hand on my chest and feel the final tunes.

If I shall leave...

Set me in the blush pink blazer that matches my mother's gown she wore when she appeared in my dream. 

Place me in a wooden casket surrounded by white lilies and roses.

Play the romantic songs that I had taken in as my own anthem.

Pass the obituary to my father.

The only one father I have, the one whose blood I carry,

and the one whose blood I have damaged.

Tell him to send me away with peace in his heart...

As it'll only be a beginning to a new forever.

Refrain the ones I wish not to see when I was alive from entering the hall.

For I wish to not hold any grudge towards anyone.

If I shall not breathe again, don't patronise my soul... just know that it is indeed time for me to go.

Love, Qadeem