My Personal Late Night Jottings

 

Perhaps, It Is A Calling After All.

27/7/24 01:46

As I close my eyes to be greeted by slumbers,

My dreams would constantly be awakened by screams and flames picturing a scenery from Hell.

Although I no longer want to be near them, those who tend to trouble my mind.

I can't help but feel scared and worried after getting those nightmares.

Perhaps it is a calling after all...

All the tears, all the misery, and all the rejection.

Perhaps I am no longer welcome here.

And perhaps...

I shall slowly move my vision to a different view,

And slowly start moving again.

Yet, He Lets It Be

27/7/24 01:55

My stepmother tries to kill me.

She got rid of my mother, and now...

As I stand tall as her last remaining, she looks at me as a new target.

My father... maybe clueless, maybe not...

He chooses her over me,

He chooses a glass over a flower in a crystal vase.

He sees me suffering, and yet...

While his wife reigns on the side, sitting in the armchair next to him...

He sits down on the Chesterfield Sofa and lets it all be.

He spares me no mercy,

He spares me no time,

He puts on no shoes to walk in my direction,

He throws no tissue for me to wipe my bleeding eyes.

And he opens no eyes to even read my letters, let alone look at his reflection on my ugly face.

If Only She Knew...

27/7/24 02:11

If only my mother was a fortune teller,

I believe that she would've taken me away with her,

So that her prince could smile again and laugh again...

She left me when the month was welcoming my new year, and she left me in tears.

She cried, and so did I.

I cried, for I was lost and scared.

Maybe she cried because she was upset about the things that she couldn't do.

If only she knew sooner...

I would still be reigning on my own throne, as opposed to being the one thrown away.

- Shaher Dastagir (I prefer to use my personal/private name at times)