I'm Hallucinating a Double in Loops

This flower - bougainvillaea - was a fragment of my past. It was planted by my late mother when I was born.

Something that 'F' brought back into my life...

A fond memory of my old self that was triggered when we listened to an 'old' song that we mutually favoured.

BYLINE: QADEEM ZIEMAN

 What am I to do with those anthems that you've caused me to hum,
Now that your shadows are the only thing that remains?

Your white top and black hair pave the way for my sorrows to behead my smiles,
Yet still...

My cheeks stretch my lips across my face

Whenever your face appears in my cloudy visions.

My palm still forms into a fist every time I recall touching your bones...

And my mouth still speaks out the words "so cute" every time I think of you.

Did you know how much I've missed seeing you smile...

To hear you laugh in chuckles,

To stare at your puppy-like frowns

As your eyes pretend not to care when you talk in made-up casualty...

Oh, how I yearn for those when I lie awake in bed at night.

It's as though I were a doctor who took a hypocritical vow;

I can't stop thinking of you,

Even when I loathe the idea of it.

It seems that everyone here has gotten their wigs from your salon,

And it's like there's only one place to shop for clothes,

Now that I'm seeing doubles of you in hallucination...

You brought me back to life with your presence,

And now, I'm hallucinating a double in loops...

Not knowing where to look, what to see, or how to feel.