A wall so white that my heart has turned blind...

This was written in "anger", despair, 'spite', and maybe a 'tad' bit of jealousy of someone whom my female friends refer to as "triple F" - Fat, f*cking fatso - for being too close to my 'puppy love affair', 'F'.

I will forever curse those clumsy, fat fingers of his!

BYLINE: QADEEM ZIEMAN

 My heart rose too high—so high I had to take the stairs down a floor just to steady myself.

I filled too many pillows and mattresses with whispered fantasies

Until even stepping outside felt impossible.

And yet my eyes had already captured your side profile

Who once brought it all to me;

The fantasies, the thoughts, the lingering laughter… and now, the unbothered tears.

I suppose the white you wore meant a new beginning,

And now the grey I wear feels like grief for something I never had.

My heart is in tears— a slow one,

Mimicking the taunting shower from the highest of skies, pulling me back into reality...

Yet my right palm is in partial joy for it once touched your left shoulder for the last time

In the steaming cold silver elevator,

As I spoke to you a word that I can no longer recall.

Whoever that man was in that moment—

I curse his clumsy fingers for daring to touch you,

His eyes for daring to meet yours,

And his feet for daring to follow after you,

And fading the smiles that my eyes once caressed.

I wrote a song of a rose that withered in a garden,

Not knowing that it would come true for the second time.

How could someone snip off a blooming bud of my garden without me knowing?

The rose was guarded with thorns, yet there was a child-like man who barged through the fences.

I am lost for words as I trace those rosy lips with my eyes against the plain white walls...

A wall so white that my heart has turned blind.