To My Father: Selamat Hari Raya

 My father, they wonder why I still wait for you...

And they question how I could still love you after all these years...

But I guess as summers reach for winters in longing, as the moon reaches for the sun, it is because I never had you, and you never had me.

Hence, I have no hate for you, for you are not like the others...

Have done no harm to me.

It is better not to have uttered a word than to say hurtful things...

It is best to have been left than to have cared for so miserably...

And it is far more beautiful to love you from afar than to have you near me, yet your heart swims deep in the oceans

I would rather not have been sewn into a gown than to be scarred and bled by a thousand needles...

Alas, let me continue to yearn for solace through the sketch of your pretend portrait as I go on another year without the warmth your eyes once caressed me with, for my heart has nowhere else to go this flooding season.