I Was Someone Before You

 How foolish was I to think that you would read my notes...

To think that my 3-page lone poems were enough to make you come back to me...

And to dream that I shall ever be with you.

How foolish was that?

You moved on right with your life with the next person who came to you.

Without caring a bit of what or how I've become since your departure,

You left me hanging, yet I was too naive to know that you are more grown than me...

Much too grown to be attached to feelings.

The kind of feelings that make us humans.

I dreamt of you,

I waited for you,

And I sent you messages on my life, hoping for you to have that feeling for me...

Because to me, it would only be you who could fill my heart with such care and joy and bring hope and wisdom to my plain and empty life.

But I found out that you were just as horrid as the others.

You never really cared for me.

It was just a casual fling that you were so used to.

There is no more of that philosopher I fell in love with,

Now, it's just a freak blinded by sensual leather 'passion'.

And now I know that your words were just as sly as your eyes...

They cut as deep and as round those eyelids for you to open my skin and punch my heart repeatedly in phantom while making me feel so calm.

I crave not for your soft touch...

I want not any of your sweet and spicy tender kisses...

Not your hair touched by my hands...

Nor your firm hands groping my waist and shoulders in the heat...

You kept none of those promises.

Not to meet me, not to love me, nor to hold me.

So, why must I go one with my life in pain, thinking that I am a failure only because you chose to be with another man?

My garden still remains green, my plate is still filled, and my life is still going on.

How could I forget that I was someone way before you came along?

Qadeem Zieman